There is a little something about the excess of the season that is sometimes overwhelming. I’m getting flyers in my mailbox offering good deals on things that I just can’t see anyone ever needing or even wanting. Some are items I’d be hard pressed to pick up at a garage sale. I’m a minimalist, but even so, some of these items I’d have a hard time buying as a gift for people for $1. I don’t want to single out any particular item, because one, there are so very many, and two, it may be something you bought today.

Oddly enough, the part of Christmas I like best is the gift giving. I was raised secularly. I am not from a large or close family, so the holidays are not a reunion time for me. I am not into entertaining, or cooking, or decorating. I find a lot of Christmas decorations tacky. I just love the excuse to buy people gifts!

I’m perfectly aware that my preference is just that. I know people who are absolutely giddy with the joy of decorating, but think the gift giving is commercial and best avoided. I know others who find the cooking the most fun, producing cookie after cheese ball after cookie. Others I know focus sincerely on the spiritual aspects of the holiday, and gifts may be tolerated and understated, and certainly secondary.

As long as someone is enjoying the holiday, I support it. It bums me out when someone is getting overtired or expects herself to produce The Perfect Christmas or tries to cook a seven course meal for ten people without the ability or desire. If there is a part of Christmas getting someone down, I think they should let it go! Get Chinese takeout! Make the kids do all the decorations! I think things that should be optional and not forced include gift giving, and that a person should be free to not do it, or scale it down to a place that feels right. I’m glad that I get to buy gifts for fun, and I’m glad don’t have a bunch of forced expectations and a list of people I have to buy a gift for. I’m perfectly happy giving gifts to people I want to give to, and that includes folks I know are not gift givers.

A benefit of being thrifty, and being so very open about it, is that I don’t believe I am generating the forced reciprocity deal that sometimes happens when a gift is given and the gifted didn’t see it coming. If a co-worker finds a little something on their desk, since they know it probably cost me less than a couple bucks or maybe even just some time, I’m not worried about them having to run home and come up with something to give me in return. I know a lot of people who aren’t into the co-worker gift thing. But they seem able to see my jar of jam or good condition used book or little trinket as a nice gesture, without strings attached. It’s an odd but very pleasant side effect of frugal giving.

This year I’ve been even more frugal, and that has opened my eyes to being on the lookout all year long...I was Christmas shopping at garage sales in May, at thrift stores, in Europe in September. That was another benefit of My Challenge-by thinking of people all year long, I was able to get some very nice gifts, some exceptionally well suited gifts, for very low prices.

People also know I get a kick out of getting frugal gifts. Last year, a buddy was having a financial rough patch (bought second home and first home didn’t sell for a while). She mentioned all the purging she had done moving from a big house to a little house. Well it turned out she mentioned having too many pizza roller/cutters, and I told her that I would love to get a pizza cutter and that I had been having a hard time spotting one at a thrift store. I got a roller, used but awesome, wrapped for a Christmas present and I loved it. I got the perfect gift and she saved money and all was well with the world.

The library alternates the Buck-a-bag sales with regular sales, where the paperbacks are all a quarter and the hardbacks are all fifty cents. I spent a whopping $4.50. It strikes my funny bone that some of the books seemed overpriced at those prices. I understand that for convenience it’s much, much easier to have one price, instead of individually pricing, but I’d grab a hardback and think, “for a quarter, I’d think about it.”

I did eat a traditional turkey dinner, but it was not at my house so I don’t have any leftovers. For me that’s a good thing: I can overeat if it is in front of me. However I did grab the turkey carcass, which was in pieces, and a bunch of the juices. I boiled the carcass and juices with some water, and have three quarts of incredibly rich broth, and two pints of shredded turkey with broth, in the freezer.

I made an odd concoction again. I took chicken thighs and split peas, and added some last bits of leftover pesto, and some mustard. The spicy brown mustard was almost out, and I wanted to clear out the fridge, so I put hot water in, shook, and put it in crockpot. I decided to finally get rid of a ½ gallon of pickle juice I’ve been saving for a year, because for me it’s not frugal if I don’t use it. However I did put a couple cups into the crock pot. Surprisingly, the chicken-split pea-pesto-mustard-pickle juice thing is quite tasty.

Sometimes I get frustrated that I don’t post enough, or that I don’t post enough of the details of my daily finances. Frankly, part of that is so very often I am not spending any money. But anyway, what I have to tell myself is that it’s not posting that is as important to me on My Challenge as actually living the Challenge. Rest assured that I'm living on less than $1026, with all purchases recorded and no fibbing. November is looking really good, except for the bloated Entertainment budget. The huge shopping tip in October really stocked me up, and other discretionary areas like gifts, household, toiletries, and clothing are low. For gifts, that’s good, because it would really help me to carry some gift money over to December.

I have a conundrum with a budget item. In late October a friend near a Trader Joe’s picked up some items for me. I gave her a blank check due to time constraints, which I later found out she tossed. I closed the October books reluctantly without know the exact amount, and expected to be able to post it in November. I saw her tonight and she would not accept any money at all. Not at all. So, what I am going to do is use my guesstimate of $25, and hold that money in a jar, and use it to take her or her aunt out to lunch at some point. I just don’t feel good about not having it as an expense.

I’m thinking about what’s going to happen post-Challenge (March 2007), and though I’ve got a couple of wants, I think that I really want to keep a lot of the habits I’ve developed or strengthened.

I want to continue to go to garage sales and thrift stores more often; I have been re-reminded how much good stuff is out there. Along with that, I want to continue to be on the look out for great gifts all year long. Some of the best presents I have for this year were super cheap at garage sales, and normally I wouldn’t have been thinking of Christmas in July.

I want to continue to go out to eat less. I am really intrigued by enjoying it more when I do it less. That’s actually dining out….I’m not happy with take out, and am not feeling like I get value there. For dining out, I want to make sure I do it because I’m spending real quality time with friends or co-workers over lunch or dinner, and that if I’m the one who instigates it, I want to go because I want that special food, not because I’m lazy. I may spend more than now, but nowhere near what I was spending ($100 a month). I’m thinking $50 a month average will work. (Now note that I’m debt free and putting a pretty fair chunk in savings; I’m not advocating that $50 would work for everyone!)

I want to continue to be more creative in the kitchen, so that I can make tasty, simple, low cost meals that are good for me. Discovering that chicken thighs that have been put in the crock pot de-bone like a dream was a life changing experience for me. Buying and using a freezer has been awesome, and I’ve been able to be very consistent about packing a lunch and eating breakfast, partially due to new tricks (freezing oatmeal being one).

I want to remain ever vigilant in the face of lattés and manicures Costco runs and window shopping. I like that I don’t spend out of habit. I like that I know where I get a big bang for my buck. I’m not anti-latté; I’m anti latté for me. If I am going to treat myself, even treat myself super frequently, it’s going to be on the gas for a hot bath, and bubble bath and bath salts.

I want to continue to avoid clutter; appliance clutter, knick knack clutter, any unused item clutter. The less stuff I have the more I like the way my house looks.

Things I may spend money on in March, or sometime after the challenge….

I’m thinking about a laptop. As it’s a big purchase, I’d want to think on it a long time before buying, Challenge or no. I think I’d use it travelling for work a lot-and the airports seem to have free wi-fi. March happens to be a three paycheck for me, so it is tempting.

I’d like a nice jewelry stand (earrings and necklaces) and jewelry box. I have a fair collection (semi-precious stones and silver, mostly-no big money, but souvenirs from my travels and gifts, that I wear daily.) I know what I’m thinking of, and I think that I may have to spend a fair amount. I’ll be on the look out.

I’d like to be able to spend a little more on My Guy for the holidays. This year will be fine; I’m not thinking it will be bad. And what I’d be looking at spending post-Challenge, maybe $150 total for all gifts large and small, isn’t too extravagant. It’s just that a lot of things he would like are not apt to be found used or at garage sales: such as 1 gig flash drives, or original art by certain local artists, or other computer related items.

I’d like to do more weekend trips. I’d like to every couple months go up to Oregon or down to Fort Bragg and stay in a cheap hotel for a night or two.

I’d like something I can put pod casts on. Maybe an iPod, maybe not. I love certain radio shows like Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me and This American Life and others, and I’d like to be able to listen “on demand” as I walk to work and back.

I’d like to get a bra-fitting, and buy one nice high quality bra. It may sound silly, it may even be silly. However I’ve been thinking about this a long time, and come March, it’s happening.

What I won’t be changing is my lifestyle. I may have a laptop, but I’ll be hanging laundry and washing dishes by hand and making crazy blender soups. I might have a super supportive brassiere but I’ll still be buying used tops, bottoms, and shoes, and getting buck-a-bag books.

I’ll say it again, I Love the Thanksgiving Holiday.

Not for the food. Turkey and potatoes and stuffing and pie are all very good, but I have mixed feelings about my ability to overeat, and I always wonder why we don’t eat turkey and stuffing and yams more often, since they are good. Maybe I wouldn’t gorge (along with others) if we got the good stuff more often.

No, what I love about the holiday is the reminder to be grateful. My Rain on Me post on 11/15 was focused on gratitude, but I thought I’d also like to list for myself what I’m thankful for. I began this list in a forum post in early November.

I am grateful for:

Having more than sufficient food, shelter, safety, and warmth

Having no debt

My Guy, and for him finding the perfect part time job to give him enough money and free time

My dad's health and his being able to retire

My Folks being able to travel the world!

Having the introspection and patience to identify areas to improve

Having a job where I make a difference

Having a job that challenges me

Having a job where I’m paid to think!

Getting a fair wage and benefits

Being sober

Baths. Clawfoot bathtubs and bubble baths as a bonus!

Having my vision and being able to read

Being able to travel

Being able to vote

Coffee (with milk)

Cheese, fruit, sushi, and all the other foods that give me great joy

The weather in Humboldt

My warm bed and comforter and all the parts of my house that are cozy

Having a car that's paid off and runs well

Having co-workers who support bettering the agency and are a team with me

Having the right and desire to exercise my freedom of speech and dissent

Frugality

My Challenge Blog and the SavingAdvice forums as ways to embrace, reinforce, and champion frugality.

Having so many choices

Music

Being able to learn and use my head

The health I do have, and the insurance for other areas

NPR

Mystery novels

Friends, and their well-being

Being kind (it may sound like an odd thing to be grateful for, but every year it becomes more dear to me)

I have so much, so many I know have so much. I believe that the more grateful I am the more compassionate I am. One day a year we are reminded, again, to give thanks. I do.

I have a thing about containers, I think. I was tipped off recently when I bought a pump bottle of hand soap, even though I didn’t need it. The deal was: the container was a perfect ball, clear, and had no label. Essentially I bought the container to use to put in my soap bits, and the soap inside is a bonus. I love the idea of my miscellaneous soap bits being in this cute little label-less ball. The soap was ninety nine cents, no splurge, but since I didn’t need soap I had questioned why I had bought it.

I hadn’t really fully thought out how much I love reusable containers. My shampoo and conditioner are in nice thick plastic well shaped pump bottles…I periodically refill them. It’s not at all about looking like I have a certain brand that I don’t, though I suppose that some people may think I actually buy fancy shampoo. (I got it in a gift basket last February.)

My favorite, cheapest dish soap comes in a screw top bottle. I pour it into a nice old squeeze top bottle.

Most of my dry bulk foods are in Red Vine licorice tubs, big peanut butter jars, or canning jars-depends on size. I like this for consistency-a nice simple look. I prefer bulk buying for these items (flour, milk, nuts, so forth) not only because they are usually cheaper, for less packaging. If it’s not packaging I’m gonna cherish, I don’t want it.

If I’m looking at getting salsa or ice cream or something, I actually take the packaging into account-not whether it’s eye-catching, but whether it comes in a nice reusable plastic tub with a lid that seals well. And lately, clear is also a bonus-cottage cheese tubs can make things harder to see in the freezer, so I’m always on the look out for clear. Best is when the label on the clear tub is one that will peel off easily.

I spent an extra nickel on a bunch of yogurts just to get the cup with a lid, so I could reuse for gelatin and other lunch snacks.

I got really excited about a free sample of hairspray…because it meant a free small pump bottle to put Fabreeze in for travelling. Another free sample hair spray actual contains hair spray that I refill periodically.

At work a lot of people know I like Red Vine tubs, the big ice cream plastic tubs, and other large tubs. I don't stock pile tons of them, but it's nice to be able to grab a new one when an odl one wears out.

(There were some mini-éclairs at Costco for a while that came in a tall, square white tub. I loved them for potlucks….a nice deep container that held plenty of food, used fridge space well, since they were square not round, and could be left at someone’s house with no worry of how to get it back.) I accept them all to keep them coming-some things I do just recycle right away, so the only benefit is to the landfill, and that’s fine with me.

There were some envelopes at work that came in “good” lidded boxes, then we started getting “bad” flimsy tear open boxes. It really threw me for a loop. The nice black boxes with white and black lids were so handy, for gifts and other things. I’m not sure anyone else noticed the change.

A small bottle of conditioner caught my eye recently...fifty cents wasn’t a great deal on the conditioner, but along with the perfectly sized travel bottle (larger than sample, much smaller than regular) that seals perfectly I felt good about it.

This container fetish has clearly been building over time. My plan is for this to be good resource use, and not a weird creepy habit, as I grow older.

Sometimes I think people think I am depriving myself. However, the times I am most unhappy about the Challenge is when I spendon Entertainment.

I budget $20 to $25 a month on entertainment; that’s mostly eating out. (I do have a separate line item for Netflix, for some reason, and my 12 channel cable too). Well, when I go out to eat, I usually feel good about it. But when I spend that money on take out, it’s rarely a feeling of relief or luxury or a treat; it’s usually a sign that I’ve just gotten sloppy. Besides the Challenge, I happen to be chubby, out of shape, and prone to migraines, which may partially be triggered by a number of foods more likely to be found at a restaurant than in my fridge (nitrates). So what the heck am I doing ordering pizza last night?!?! I’m spending out of my overspent category, and I’m not getting joy. I’m getting crankiness and bloat and a feeling of letting myself down.

I would have been so much happier having an omelet or bulgur or spinach. Spending money resulted in less happiness, not more.

In month nine, I’d have thought I’d have figured it out. But no, I had to give up money and self-esteem for fifteen minutes of pizza love.

Meh.

Here I go trying to catch the flight to Sacramento that was cancelled this morning.

I am a little stunned by how lacking in energy I’ve been over the last four days. I’ve done essentially nothing productive, or fun, or anything. Read a lot, had a crazy headache Thursday, a pretty bad one Wednesday and Friday, slept a lot, watched television, slept some more.

I didn’t achieve all my goals this week. The best I can do is not regret too much that I became a hibernating bear. Regret can eat more time than being lazy.

It cracks me up that the theme song for the latest eBay commercials is “Non, je ne regrette rien”, the song that is about regretting nothing. I am positive that at one point, someone has ordered something from eBay then sat staring at it, thinking, "I sure regret this purchase.” Being glad that Wonder Woman lunch boxes are still out there doesn’t necessarily equate to joy at having five of them sitting on the kitchen counter.

I am off work today, but I didn’t really get anything done. I admit to feeling completely lazy. I went to the bread thrift store and picked up a bunch of heavy dense whole wheat loaves at 75 cents each. I picked up a couple used books in excellent condition for a friend, for her to give as a gift to one of her family members; for me being frugal means sharing frugality, and doing frugal favors. My friend now has a nice gift to give someone for a total of 75 cents-the books were on an actual wish list! I have also spread the idea of used items, in excellent condition, as gifts. My plan to get everyone in my life idly interested in frugality is working.

The library is having a book sale tonight; it’s not a buck-a-bag sale, so I will have to select judiciously. There may be nice books for gifts, so I’ll keep a look out. I’ll have to renew my Friends of the Library subscription but that’s fine with me.

Yesterday I’m driving in my car, listening to the radio, and I flip to an ad for people with money problems. It was taking about credit cards, bill collectors…then mentioned that a person could call to get help from a dead professional. I stopped the scan button to listen more; dead professional? Huh?

It has been so long since I’ve owed money that evidently I can’t recognize the word debt anymore.

I love the sound of rain, and how it gets dark and clouds look almost purple, and how it rushes in the streets and makes puddles. I enjoy it when it’s crazy raining, at least when I’m not driving; when the rain just falls in sheets and windows have a constant solid stream on them instead of drops. Mostly, I love the rain because it reminds me to be grateful.

I have a house to come home to, where I can have a hot shower or bath, or get into flannel jammies. The house may be chilly-those 12 foot ceilings-but I have lots of warm blankets and sweaters. I have tea and cocoa and popcorn and soup and grilled cheese makings. I have lots of books and I have a television and DVDs. I can come to home my refuge, and I can be reminded how those very small things can be so big – for someone homeless, my cocoa and comforter may seem very, very far away.

If I think about these things I’m grateful for, I realize that during not one second of My Challenge have I had to forego the things I love most. Most of my flannel jammies have been a buck or two at thrift stores. (The best were $1.25, thick dark blue, on me right now.) I got a bunch of tea in a free box at a garage sale, but even my purchased teas are pretty cheap-the fancy stuff I spring for is nine cents a bag. My comforters and blankets are years old, my cocoa is homemade from powdered milk, sugar, and baking chocolate, my popcorn is microwaved in a brown paper bag. My hot showers and baths do take some gas, but my utility bill has been reasonable because I scrimp elsewhere. The DVDs are a luxury, but $9.65 for my half of the monthly bill is an acceptable entertainment expense to me-again, I scrimp in other areas. Books? Buck-a-bag book sales! Or the library, or garage sales or thrift stores or hand-me downs. Television? Non-cable channels 2-13 only, and a VCR to tape good stuff for when the networks have a bad night.

I really do think about gratitude in November, because I actually hold Thanksgiving dear; not for the turkeys and pilgrims, but for the reminder that I have much to be grateful for. One thing I’m grateful for this year is My Challenge, which has had, as a happy byproduct, the effect of making me more grateful. So, I’m grateful for increased gratitude. Man, that’s a little mushy touchy-feely silly, but when I’m grateful I am also looking to be a better person. The more grateful I am the more kind I am, and as the years have gone by I am less and less inclined to revere intelligence and more and more inclined to hold kindness in high regard.

I‘m a fan of the 1950 movie Harvey, with Jimmy Stewart. At one point the main character Elwood, says, "Years ago my mother used to say to me…'In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.' Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me." I know a fair number of very smart unhappy people; I can’t think of any really kind person I know who is unhappy. They may have sad events in their lives or challenges to face, but at heart, they are certainly not unhappy.

So ends my rainy Day Fourteen of Month Nine.

Got back from Sacramento a little earlier, by asking very nicely to take an earlier flight.

Re-discovered for the billionth time that I just adore freeway driving with the radio cranked crazy loud. I walk to work or drive about 4 minutes; that’s good for me and the environment. But I just love listening to the radio (no satellite, no XM, no Sirius, no CD player, no tape player) and discovering old songs I love and finding new ones, blues and country and rock and a little of this and that thanks to the scan button. I just love it. I have so little traffic, that I can look at the redwoods and rock out.

And speaking of wish lists, I wrote mine down during idle moments in training…does anyone else have things like silicon rubber scrapers on their long term wish list? Or am I just a tad nutty?

On Monday, I bought a travel alarm clock. I thought and thought about that $3.97 purchase out of my Household fund. A travel clock had been on my wish list for a few months. I hadn’t expected to see it in a grocery outlet store, but there it was. I am very grateful that since I keep items on my mental wish list for a long time, and buy items as cheaply as possible, that I rarely have buyer’s remorse. I think it’s an under-looked bonus of being frugal. I am not a fan of regret, so the more I can avoid the better. When I finally buy the bookcase and shelving I’ve been wanting and looking for, I know I’ll be happy with it, partially because I didn’t run out to the furniture store, point, buy, and run home. When the right bookcase at the right price appears, I’ll buy it with confidence.

When I decided to post every day, I had forgotten that I was leaving the house at 4:30 am and getting back at 10:30 at night. I’m flying to Sacramento for work. I won’t be able to bring my own water, which does chap my hide. The truth is I wrote this Tuesday post Monday night. I can live with it, same as I can live with my purchases!

I never really thought about how invisible frugality can be. I’m usually so open and unapologetic about it that lots of people that I know are aware I’m frugal. Today I was at a meeting with a lot of people in the community, from three counties. I was looking around and it struck me funny that there was no way to tell who had bucks, who spent bucks, or who owed bucks.

I was in a pair of Freecycle dark Levi’s, with a fifty cent pure wool men’s sweater, a $3.97 clearance top, and some thrift store shoes. I felt my outfit was nice, if in my usual more boyish, more casual style (it’s a good thing I live in Humboldt.) I knew I was going to this meeting and I felt good about these clothes. (Later on in the day someone said, “New shoes? Cute!” They were surprised I had bought new (looking) shoes….but less surprised when I admitted they came from a thrift store.) Looking around, I was trying to spot any fancier or funky clothes, and was stumped…the nice Oxford shirts could have been $40 or $2 clearance/thrift store and I wouldn’t be able to tell. The flattering women’s suits could have been a few years old and well kept, or brand new, or a hand me down.

In the parking lot, looking at all the sedans and hatchbacks, again, I couldn’t tell anything? Some of the nicer cars may have had a lot owed on them. Or maybe not. I’m not in an area that runs to Jaguars and BMWs; and the economical cars could easily have been bought by the more affluent as an ecological purchase (again, I live in Humboldt).

Does this matter? Well, no. If someone asked me, “Do you hang clothes on the line?” or, “do you shop at thrift stores?” I wouldn’t have any objection to admitting it. I’m proud that I use resources wisely and reduce unnecessary spending; I’m proud of My Challenge, as odd as it is. I know, though, that other folks may be tightening the belt out of necessity, or may be new visitors to The Land of the Thrifty, and may feel a little out of the mainstream; some might rather that the newly acquired thrifty habits weren’t immediately visible.

Some people I know this year are giving home made gifts because they are excellent bakers, or avid crafts hobbyists, and some folks who are giving homemade gifts because it’s easier on the pocketbook-I only know because they felt like sharing the information. (My Challenge brings this out in people.)

Wrapping it up, I couldn’t tell who had cable today, who had low utility bills, who had cell phones or used furniture or mortgages or rent. So use coupons, hang the laundry, shop the thrift stores, give home made gifts, watch broadcast network TV...no one can tell. Unless you do.

I can’t blame bad spending on my lack of posts. However, I did spend $2.13 twice out of my Entertainment budget. Doesn’t sound bad, except it was fast food both times. In some ways I suppose getting two items off the value or dollar or whatnot menu is a good thing, but I really don’t want to eat any fast food ever. There are a slew of socio-economic-political reasons I could cite, but I’m not going to, because 1) no one is interested and 2) the fact that I’m chubby and get migraines is reason enough to stop eating fast food right there. Fast food places don’t specialize in whole food, no nitrate, no MSG, low bad-fat, high fiber, lower calorie foods.

(Yes I know MSG and nitrates don’t trigger all folks to get migraines, and that only 40% or so of folks are food sensitive. Well, my little calendar I’m keeping of food/sleep/headaches/exercise/etc. seems to show that there is something in fast food that doesn’t agree with me.)

I’d just rather spend that $4.26 on something better, that’s what it comes down to.

In other news: small changes, small things can be so great. I sometimes buy the little yogurts, non-fat and low sugar, at the Canned Foods outlet when they are three for a dollar. (I also get large tubs of non-fat plain.) I like them for lunch, or as a snack or dessert. Well, I splurged and spend an extra nickel, 38 cents each, for a brand that has lids instead of just the peel off metal lid. I did this to have baby storage containers that I’m now using for sugar free gelatin. Good for lunches, and cheaper too because the 33 cent gelatin packs make it 17 cents a cup. And I can put my plain large tub yogurt in there, with fruit and home-made granola. Actually, I was surprised to realize that the gelatin wasn’t that cheap; I plan to use some Knox gelatin I have to play with homemade gelatin soon.

In further news, this week’s goal is going to be to post every day. It’s not lack of material; every day I think of something related to my habits or the Challenge or frugality or building skills, I just get sloppy and don’t sit down and write it. Eat breakfast daily, bike/walk to work 5 times from Monday through Sunday, keep up Calendar, develop a strategy for having more fun outside the house, and post daily. That’s five goals, but two of them I’m doing pretty good at making habits, and a third is on its way towards being a habit, so I don’t think that’s too much.

I have a fair amount of time available to me. I’m childfree. I don’t have family that lives nearby. My commute is 10 minutes roundtrip driving, or 40 minutes walking roundtrip. I work a 40 hour week. Sometimes I have longer days or weeks, especially due to travel, but I also get a fair amount of holidays, personal days, vacation days. I keep the house simple and tidy, and while I keep it uncluttered I’m not a big cleaner. I have five bills to pay a month, and I like to shop no more than once a month. No dry cleaning, no manicures…not a lot of errands. I have time.

I’m grateful for the time, because I’m not stressed out. Because I can putter around and drink tea and read. I like it because I don’t need time saving gadgets, and because I don’t ever need to spend money to buy time: I can do it the long way, cook whatever I want from scratch, wash the dishes in a wash tub, use actual dishes. I always have time for a bath or a book; I’m not deprived of me time. I’m not going out to lunch or coffee and spending money; I’m not spending much on fuel, I. Many people I know seem to complain about the lack of time; some of them sound perfectly happy, but to me they sound uncomfortably busy. (Some parents seem to spend an awful lot of time on child related things, fun or obligation. ).

I should be 100% grateful that my life is not crammed full. What can throw me off is that sometimes I do wish I had more structure, or obligations. Not necessarily chores, but I can be a mighty hermit, and it wouldn’t be a bad idea for me to have a monthly book club, or museum trip, or hiking trip. I have all this beautiful time, and I don’t always use it as well as I’d like. Even in a perfect world I’d still want plenty of “nothing going on but my slippers” time; take away my baths and I’d be much less mellow.

Boy, sometimes I really have to mull things over before I can articulate what it is I want, and even then it’s still a process to work towards it. So now that I’ve put some of my antsiness in words, I know what a goal is: time management. Not the time management of people trying to do it all, or balance work, romance, kids, hobbies, housekeeping, and gardening. I’m just looking to feel more like I’m taking a bite out of life.

So what’s a concrete step I can take? I’m not good at telling myself broad things, like “be healthy.” I need concrete, like drink a lot of water and walk to work three times a week. The concrete step might not be the final answer, but it will take me there. I’ll further mull. I’m thinking along the lines of: host one game night this month, make social plans one day this month, and make a commitment to see a site once this month (could be a gallery or a hiking trail-but drive or walk to a place for fun).

This may not have been about finances. But I think of it this way: by being debt free and living simply, my biggest problem is needing to have more fun.

(And to be less chubby.)

I did do the exercise bike. I really didn’t want to tonight, so I’m even more proud. Considering I decided not to budget any money for working out, since I have an exercise bike and live walking distance from work, I had freakin’ better get my exercise. Otherwise, I’d have that whole regret thing going on.

There’s a phenomenon that confuses me: I’ll plan to do something, then dread it, then when I do it it’s fine. Now, you’d think the next time, I wouldn’t dread it, because I know it turns out fine, right? Not right.

This happens to me when I make social plans. I really look forward to them, then as it approaches I balk at the idea of going out, then I go out and have a great time. With exercising: the idea sounds great. Then the time to work out or walk to work approaches and I get all angsty. Then I do it and it feels great.

How come I can’t tell my brain, “Hey, you don’t need to worry about this. When you do it, you like it?”

The only spending this month ahs been on rent, filling the tank (which didn’t need filling in October!) and going out to eat once. I’m planning on a low spend month; however, faced with holidays on the march, I can easily see my gifts budget, entertainment budget, household budget, and grocery budget having demands placed upon them. Of course my wild spending equal $75 total; there’s only so nutty I can get on the Challenge.